I Remember

A look back on the release day of Where Can I Flee:

Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of an author on the day of her book’s release? Well wonder no more. Today, I’ll let you peek inside my mind….and my heart.
I Remember…
I remember well when Ancient Words was just a good idea. I remember when God pressed it on my heart, in the strongest way, to stop the story I had been playing around with and begin writing this one. I remember the fear, anxiety, and doubts that clouded my every thought. I also remember surrendering to His will.

I remember the countless hours of research. The hundreds of post-it notes piled high on my desk as I typed out my notes. I remember the stress of needing an answer and not finding one right away. I remember the joy and gratitude that came when God answered the simple prayer, “Help me!”

I remember the early writing and the constant doubting. I remember finding my enjoyment in the story, but questioning whether it was a love that only a “mother” could have. I remember getting my first review and the tears of joy that flowed down my face as I learned that someone else loved my precious story too.

I remember the hardships of the editing phase. The pressure of a deadline that stole away my nights. I remember the joy of watching something that had lived only on the computer screen suddenly come to life through the printer. I remember the joys of seeing the pencil marks of an editor as I reached out and claimed my baby, excited to take it to the next level.

I remember the endless hours I spent on the lopsided chair in order to format my creation. I remember how the tears of frustration gave way to tears of joy as one by one those walls crumbled and I became victorious. I remember those that stood with me during those dark hours. Those that spoke a word of prayer or peace. Who wiped my brow and brought my tea and reminded me that something greater was at stake.

I remember that in surrendering my will to His, that I would never walk alone. Even when troubles arose and I couldn’t find my way out, His perfect plan would see me through. I remember that whether writing, baking, talking, or washing my life would be to honor Him, and Him only. I remember that striving for perfection and high sales would be a goal too high. A goal too dangerous. A goal not worthy of my time. I remember that seeking to glorify His name in everything would be the only obtainable goal. The only goal blessed by my Father and left within reach.

I sit back today to remember all that I’ve done and in remembering, I celebrate. Today, the simple story known as Ancient Words has grown into a four book series. Today, the first book is released to the world. Today, Where Can I Flee will live in the hearts of readers instead of my computer screen. Today, I lay down my every effort and my every word at the feet of Jesus and ask only that He use it to glorify His holy name.

Today, I look forward to dusting off the scraps of book two. Ready to finish the story that burns within me. Today, I pray for God’s continual strength as I understand that Satan’s attack will soon take on the form of bad reviews. Today, as with everyday, I celebrate. Thank You, Lord.